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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her Instagram afterwards, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I’ll have no makeup on, making a strange expression or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has turned into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to make money from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. It's never my aim to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video occasionally is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She must to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Create some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?